Journeys of Healing: Ruth

In this episode of PIR® Integration Radio, Ruth shares a deeply moving conversation about recovery, shame, and the profound journey toward self-acceptance.

With openness and courage, Ruth reflects on the decades she spent carrying an overwhelming sense of shame and self-criticism—feelings that shaped her experience of addiction and left her believing she was somehow fundamentally unworthy. She describes how recovery created the foundation for change, while carefully held psychedelic experiences helped illuminate layers of pain and inherited beliefs that had remained hidden for much of her life.

Together, we explore the relationship between personal healing and generational trauma, as Ruth shares how uncovering the influence of family history and cultural shame opened the door to a new understanding of herself. She speaks about the importance of integration—not simply through personal reflection, but through honest conversations within recovery communities such as Psychedelics in Recovery and Alcoholics Anonymous, where vulnerability became a powerful antidote to isolation and shame.

Rather than presenting psychedelic experiences as a destination, Ruth highlights the ongoing work that follows: learning to let go of perfectionism, practising self-compassion, and allowing healing to ripple into her relationships with her children, her community, and herself.

This conversation offers a compassionate reminder that recovery is not about becoming someone new, but about gently uncovering the person who has always been there beneath the weight of fear and shame.

  PIR® Integration Radio is a podcast produced by Psychedelics in Recovery.
In keeping with PIR® traditions, the podcast offers a space for reflection, shared experience, and integration, in support of recovery. It does not promote or endorse substance use. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

A friend introduced me to psychedelics when I got six, seven months clean. I met her and it was uh I met this lady. I went to do a ceremony and it transformed my life. I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for that ceremony.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

Welcome to Psychedelic in Recovery, Integration Radio, a safe space where PIR, also known as Persons in Recovery, come and share their experience, strengths, and hope with us, with you. My name is Anne, I'm a person in recovery and your host today. This radio is part of PIR's ongoing effort to carry the message of recovery to those still suffering. In alignment with the 12 traditions that guide our fellowship, this program will not be funded by outside contributions. PIR as an organization has no opinion on outside issues. While we discuss plant medicine and psychedelic in this episode, PIR does not promote or endorse their use. The spiritual intention of PIR and of this broadcast is to create diverse, safe and sacred spaces for all who wish to recover, always thriving for humility of a hubris and principle before personalities. Whether you're new to the idea of integrating psychedelics or plant medicine in your recovery process, new to recovery or a longtime member of the fellowship, our aim is to create a safe space of curiosity, connection, and hope. In this first series, entitled Journeys of Healing, we explore the intersection of recovery and the transformative potential of psychedelic medicine through some of our members' experience. So settle in, open your mind, and let's walk this path together. This is the PIR podcast, and today it gives me great pleasure to introduce Ruth, who is come from Scotland to tell us of our experience of recovery and introducing psychedelics and coming across PIR. Hi, Ruth. Thank you very much for being here. Good morning. How are you? Hi Anne, good morning. It's good to see you. I'm well, thank you. So tell me, um, tell me a bit more about but tell me a bit about your recovery. Uh, how did you, which fellowship did you get into? When was it? A little bit of your background story and uh qualifier.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

I started doing NA and A in 2021 after 30 years of using drugs and alcohol, and I was just at the point where I was so stuck in a problem and so full of so much pain that I went somewhere for help one day, and I met someone in recovery who had said it's fate we met, you know, and and it was the first female I'd ever trusted. And I started detoxing off, you know, opiates and got myself clean and sober, which was really, really difficult because I started using so young, I started using at like 13 because I had this from being a young girl at four or five, I remember hating myself, not liking the way I looked, not liking the way I felt. And then when I got to the age of 13, I started, you know, using drugs to take that feeling away. And you know, and I'd done that for 30 years of my life, and I didn't think it was possible to do life without drugs. I couldn't understand how people could do life without drugs or alcohol. And when I I got clean and sober, you know, all this stuff came up, and I couldn't identify what it was. It was consuming self-hatred, it made my skin crawl, it was that uncomfortable. And what I understand now was shame, shame that I carried for being a very young girl. It was generational shame that my mum carried, her mum carried, and really, really deep-rooted shame. And I got to like 17 months, and you know, I relapsed, and I went out the door for five months, and and that was awful. And then I thought, well, I need to try something different because what I'm doing's not working. So I remember I had uh emailed uh an addiction psychiatrist who had suggested psilocybin to me, that he thought that would be you know useful. So I was trying to find out where I could do a ceremony and and and try that. Meanwhile, I really threw myself into AA, got to know women, built up trust, done a lot of service, let people get to know me, made friends, and um, and then my my dad had a bad fall when I was about eight months uh clean and sober, and just before he had the fall, you know, uh my dad wasn't somebody that would get vulnerable, you know, like emotionally, and I had done a a ceremony. A friend introduced me to psychedelics when I got to six, seven months clean. I met her and it was uh fate that I met this lady. I went to do a ceremony and it transformed my life. It transformed my life, and I couldn't have I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for that ceremony because otherwise it would have just been another relapse. It would because I was just so full of shame and self-hatred that I couldn't unpack that just with fellowship and meetings and service, it just wasn't possible. And that ceremony, you know, I just understood myself. I understood actually that was shame you were carrying, Ruth. Had no idea what shame was or how heavy or how it sticks to absolutely everything. It was really, really heavy. So I had done this ceremony and and then I I then had the ability to to stay clean and sober and just keep trying to, you know, grow and and heal and and recover. And I I had started a new job, and and I was having dinner with my dad one night, you know, and this is a man that you know comes from an Irish family, and you know, you didn't get vulnerable, you don't get vulnerable. And out the blue just says to me, you know, you're the best thing that ever happened to me. My dad died about six weeks later. And as he was lying, you know, and he was um dying, I was able to tell him I was sorry, I was able to tell him I loved him. I was able to be there for him and advocate for him. Now, if it wasn't for that ceremony that I had done, I would have been, I just wouldn't have been able to cope because I was just so full of carrying all this stuff that I couldn't identify what it was I was carrying, you know, and and I shared a tear and you know, I was able to get vulnerable with my dad, you know, and and say, I'm sorry, you know, that they words, I wouldn't have been able to say they words if it wasn't for me doing that ceremony and then learning to have a better understanding of myself and what was going on with me. And my relationship with my daughters have, you know, because I was with their dad for 20 years and he died of, you know, drug addiction. And, you know, they were only 17 and 15 when he died, and then I I would say my my drug use got a lot worse then.

SPEAKER_02 8:32

Can you try and explain? You said that you did that ceremony, that first ceremony that changed everything, seven months uh into your uh second recovery, and you uh uncovered shame. Can you explain uh to the listeners and to people who maybe have never been into a ceremony how you discovered what did it look like? How did shame appear to you? How did you figure it out? Was it integration? Was it during the ceremony? What state of mind were you in when you went to that ceremony? Did you have any intention around your recovery? How did all this come out? Because it's huge, it's it really is what was a turning point for you in your recovery. Can you spend a bit more time explaining this? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 9:22

I didn't go to the first ceremony with any intention. I just wanted to not hate myself anymore. And I came out, and that first ceremony just opened me up more, you know, made me more open-minded, made me just have a slight better understanding of myself. And then slowly through um integration, I learned that was shame that I was carrying, and the the vision I had in the ceremony was, you know, in the basement, you know, and and just being um like on a farm covered in like just stuff that I couldn't I was just stuck to and I just couldn't let go of this stuff that had been going on for generations. And then with a bit of therapy and with integration, I understood that that stuff that was sticking to me was a huge amount of generational shame that was really, really heavy that just doing meetings alone wouldn't have been able to unpack or understand.

SPEAKER_02 10:42

Nah, I this yeah, this this is something that an indigenous woman told me in Brazil on my last day after I was leaving, and she said to me, You think you've come here to heal yourself, but you've come here to heal generations that have preceded you, and it's not one visit that's gonna do it, but don't worry, the floresta will call you back when it's time to come back. And until that point, I had never realized that I am carrying that generational trauma. And interesting, you're talking about your Irish ancestry. I came back yesterday from Ireland, where I did a tour of uh the west coast of Ireland and uh Galway and County Mayo with my sponsor, who'd flown from the my PIR sponsor who'd flown from the US to come and look for ancestor. Until a few years ago, she didn't even know she had Irish ancestry because of the amount of shame our mother was carrying around uh Irish ancestors. She had told her whole family she was British. And um and the we toured and we tried and find uh try and find a homestead, and we found a little hamlet that used to be a beautiful village, and it's empty. Everyone had left. You know, the the the famine in Ireland, the oppression has left a deep, deep trauma, and I had not uh perceived that until that. It's very fresh in my in my head. Um, and you can feel it on the land, that sadness and that grief. Um so I I completely understand what you're referring to. Um and uh and you know that's um something that we all carry. Uh the the weight of our ancestors and and uh and their wound, and we have some healing to do on their behalf. I heard something um you know, in in an ACA meeting one day, some guy said it's never too late to have a happy childhood. You can rewrite the script for yourself and for your ancestors. You know. Um and uh and what a beautiful story of your dad, you know. Giving you that that uh that best, you know, the best thing a dad can give a daughter, best thing that happened to him in his life. You know, talk of reconciliation. Um that's a beautiful step eight and nine, I say. Yes. Um and and can you talk a bit more about your integration? How what does it look like? You said that the shame came to you uh during as a vision, but also during integration. How do you integrate? Do you do you do that with a therapist? Do you do that on your own through meetings?

SPEAKER_00 13:44

So I I was working with a therapist, friends who've also done psychedelics and talking about. I think talking about it has broke the power of the shame because I didn't know the shame was there. And then after the ceremony, I started talking about it, and it almost did break the power of it a bit, you know, and I was able to, and then people would come to me and say, Oh, that's maybe being shame that I've been carrying. What a heavy burden that is to carry. So it broke, you know, like more connections because there was I was able to share about that with other women, and they maybe had never felt safe to talk about that or weren't able to identify it was shame that they were carrying. And and then just slowly bits come to me, you know, like downloads post-ceremony. And and when it comes to me like that, I know that's what it is, you know, and and it has been a life transformer.

SPEAKER_02 14:46

And so talking about it with fellows, who who do you who do you talk about it? Because do you talk about it in your AM meetings?

SPEAKER_00 14:54

No, no, I've got friends who are in PIR and I joined PIR in November, and I can talk to them or go to a PIR meeting and be completely honest about my ceremonies and about my integration and about my intentions before a ceremony. I'm able to be, you know, totally honest in PIR.

SPEAKER_02 15:22

And how did you come across PIR? So you said you you discovered it last November. So was that uh shortly after your ceremony, before your ceremony? How did that work out?

SPEAKER_00 15:33

So I had I came across it online. I was just doing some research and I had came across it and meant to tune in, and I and I hadn't got around to it. Then a friend of mine I suggested to her that she did and she did uh do a meeting, and then you know, I joined a meeting, and um and it has just been the best thing ever. And so that was after your ceremony?

SPEAKER_02 15:59

Yes. And do you do you still keep your membership in A? You still attend AA meetings and you keep it separate?

SPEAKER_00 16:06

Yes, yes, I still do service in AA and I enjoy the service that I do once a week. You know, it's it's good for me. Service has just changed my life, you know, when I'm not feeling great about myself, go and help somebody else, I'll do service, and service has built confidence for me. Service has just been really, really good for me.

SPEAKER_02 16:30

Yes, I I think my my sponsor was telling me, she said, service is not service and to unless it's inconvenient. It needs to. And I was like, because I was telling her that the culture uh in PIR is not as service-driven as it is in AA. And that's one of the one of the things that AA has that PIR doesn't have. Um and we were talking about this, debriefing on this, and she said, yes, because probably because the fellowship is mostly Zoom-based, people do not feel the same amount of commitment. And she said to me, service is not service unless it's inconvenient. And that resonated. Yes. Not inconvenient, you know, it it needs to it needs to cost something to mean something. Absolutely. And uh I totally agree with that. And uh, and I I think the the good old A saying, service keeps you sober, um, seems to be uh a true adage in my experience. And uh and so that was your first ceremony. Um then you joined PIR and then you how do you how do you integrate your psychedelic journeys? Do you microdose uh during your uh during your working days, during your working life? Uh or do you uh what's been your experience of practicing uh a psychedelic recovery since November?

SPEAKER_00 17:58

I do a psilocybin ceremony with um therapists in a in a setting and we have you know therapy with one of them and that's been just so great for me. I've not microdosed yet. And every time I go to the um ceremony, you know, that more more more is revealed, you know, and I I just came back from a ceremony last a week ago, and I'm now unpacking something else, you know, that I didn't again I wasn't even aware I was holding on to that, and now I'm letting that go.

SPEAKER_02 18:44

And do you want to tell us a bit more about this? What of what you're currently unpacking and how it appeared, what it looks like, and and and talk about uh on this a bit?

SPEAKER_00 18:56

Yeah. So I done the ceremony last Saturday, you know, and as I'm lying down, the first thing I hear is this giant thud and the buildings vibrating. And this thud went on for the duration of the ceremony, it continued actually post-ceremony for a couple hours. And what I seen in the ceremony was this fortress of perfectionism that I had built in recovery. That prior to that I had no idea. You know, I'd put the alcohol and drugs down and picked up perfectionism and operated it 200%, you know, keeping trying to make amends, you know, and and this fortress was just you know, that that giant thud was the fortress dropping. It's time to let that go. It's time to let that go, and how heavy that had been to carry. And I just kept moving it 200% because I thought I had to do that, you know. And since I I've come out of that ceremony and I've spent the week actually taking it quite easy, feeling physically quite exhausted, which I've never felt like that post-ceremony. And I think that's just a sign of how exhausted my body was, but I did it. The perfectionism didn't allow it to feel tired or slow down, it just operated at you know, such a fast speed. So I've been sitting and having a rest and dropping the perfectionism where I don't need to go out with lipstick on all the time, and that sounds something quite small, but for me it's quite significant because I would never go out the door without lipstick on. You know, I've not worn lipstick since the ceremony, and in my recovery, that that's not typical for me. I've even got a bit of a root, uh, a little bit of a root there, never would normally do that.

SPEAKER_02 21:10

You know, it's uh it's it's there's an old saying to say, if it's not practical, it's not spiritual. And I love this little example of what it looks like uh for for us to let go, let God. And and what you're describing, the the makeup, the the the roots, is a mask. You know, in my recovery, I used to I I used to call them the three B's. It was buttocks, blow dry, bullshit. And for so long as on the outside it looked made up, I thought no one would notice, and the importance of the outside was governing my life. What was going on on the inside was denied, and for so long as the you know, lipstick and you know, the same thing. And even in recovery, we can carry on wearing those masks forever if it's not disrupted by a vision, by a moment where psilocybin, you know, that often described as a projector. You've got four hours where the lights are on. Take a good look around, because in four hours the light goes off. You need to remember where the skeletons are and deal with them. Yeah. That's incredible. That's that's incredible. And and and I like, as I said, the fact that you can immediately put it into practice. That's also integration. What am I gonna do with what I found out now? Acceptance, responsibility, and then defenselessness, as as uh Deepak says, letting go of having to explain that to anyone. It's your truth to thy own self be true. Yes. Fantastic. And so how how is this going to what else are you thinking of changing or implementing? What have you been called to do since that ceremony in terms of integration? I know it's it's only a week, plenty more to come.

SPEAKER_00 23:09

Slowing down a bit. I don't need to operate at such a 200% at work. You know, I don't need to operate at that speed at work. It's all right to, you know, just do the best that I can do without perfectionism driving me constantly and and how exhausting that was, and I wasn't even aware of the impact. I actually felt the physical weight of that perfectionism in that ceremony, and it was backbreaking.

SPEAKER_01 23:46

Absolutely backbreaking. And I thought I need to let that go.

SPEAKER_00 23:52

So I'm day by day letting go of more of that, and you know perfection, you know, doesn't exist, just learning to be more authentic.

SPEAKER_02 24:03

Yeah, it's it's it's a vulnerability, it's practicing being vulnerable and realizing that if you let go of these things that you thought protected you, well, nothing bad happens. Quite the contrary, you feel better for it. But you know, it's it's uh I think everything you're talking about really resonates um for me through what the very little um I know about the ACA program through the reading of the Loving Parents uh guidebook. Uh, it really is when you were talking about self-care, slowing down, listening to the to the parts in you, uh, reconciling with the inner child, the inner teenager, and all these things is is very, yeah, it resonates ACA. It is an another 12-step program. Uh, we have a few, uh, quite a few members in in PIR and have ACA flavoured meeting. It's adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families I qualify for this fellowship. And uh, and that's that's what it you know, it rings true. Listening to yourself when you're hungry, you were saying, when you're thirsty, and you matter. Um, and uh how how have you found those psychedelic journeys um beneficial to your practice of your ACA program?

SPEAKER_00 25:25

Absolutely massive. Because I've been able to connect with the inner child stuff, which is at the core of all of this stuff, you know, and being able to tune in with oh, is that my what critics speaking to me today? You know, is that the the critical teen? Is that the you know, and I've just been able to really tune into the whole inner child thing, and that's really, really helped when I'm feeling triggered by something. What's this about? What's this trying to teach me about myself? And I've really tuned into that, and it's been great for me because it's made me more curious, you know.

SPEAKER_02 26:04

Yeah, I think that curiosity comes from the inner child, and that's what AA and various other 12-step programs, I think we fell at open open-mindedness. Yeah, you know, as children, we are wide open-minded, everything's possible. We haven't been taught what's right, what's you know, what's physically possible. We have a vivid imagination, and I love that ACA allows me to reconnect with that part and allow it to thrive, exist and thrive, and sometimes run the day. And why not? You know, this is this is the beauty of recovery applied in everyday's life, and I and with a boost from silo sib, and particularly mushroom, I find helpful for inner child work because they are naturally playful. Some cultures, indigenous culture, call them the children, el niños, you know. So I think for inner child work, it's it's a perfectly suited medicine. Um, have you tried any other medicine in your psychedelic uh recovery? No, I haven't. No, not yet. Um and there is a question that I uh ask all my guests, um, is what are you still struggling with at the moment? And and what would be, I know your your last journey was only a week ago, so uh, but for few your future journey, what what is it that you or or or not? Um you you might not need uh psychedelic to help you with that, but what is it that now that you've uncovered the layers of shame uh that was topping on uh your addiction and and the um perfectionism that was weighing you down, what's your next uh letting more people intention or uh and what does how does that look like?

SPEAKER_00 28:06

Because of this fortress with the perfectionism, you know, that put people off and they don't from connecting with me, and and it and it's just now that I'm letting that fortress go and that giant thud and the ceremony was that you know structure demolishing being more open, opening my heart more and and just getting letting myself get to know other people more.

SPEAKER_01 28:37

That's a beautiful intention.

SPEAKER_02 28:40

I think the the fear of getting hurt sometimes builds those fortress. Yes. Um that's also part of the uh ACA guidebook. Um, you know, that that I resonate with that um a lot. And w tell me, where are you at in your uh recovery? I are you working the steps with a sponsor? Um how do you integrate the uh psychedelic experiences that you have? How do you weave that into your 12-step program, practically speaking?

SPEAKER_00 29:16

I'm working with an AA sponsor at the moment, and I am and I'm loving the PIR steps. The the literature is just beautiful. You know, I'm not working with a PIR co-traveller or sponsor yet, but you could say my friends in PIR, my co-travelers, because we share all the time, we talk about steps. You know, I do service at the Edinburgh meeting and I chair that. So I think all of that combined with some work with a therapist and traditional 12-step and the loving parent guidebook meeting. That's all the inner child stuff has just been really, really good for me.

SPEAKER_02 29:58

Yeah, that's uh I think you're describing the ingredients of my soup as well. That's exactly uh what uh what I've been trying to do. There's one thing that I was missing and I want to reintroduce is more AA meetings. And I I think it's uh the the AA meetings, it's it's a mothership, it's uh it's the old traditional way. Um but sometimes I need to hear that back. Uh for for a while it was exclusively PIR, but I want to, you know, one meeting a week to to remember. I often compare it's a bit like a my grandmother. Uh, and then she's not from my generation, she doesn't understand my life, but I need to I need to go and see my grandmother uh once in a while to remember my roots and remember why I'm here, etc. And uh and and I like that in PIR we define our own version of recovery, that we do have flavoured meetings so we get to understand the ACA program or the SLAM program or the under-earner program. Um, because I I think as I unpeel the onion, I don't know about you, Ruth, I find that, you know, I do actually belong in pretty much all of them. They are all symptoms of the same thing that manifests itself in different areas of my life. Yes. Um what do you agree with that? Absolutely. I think you know, I I could I I could also go to a to a squ a sla meeting and you know Kodai meeting. And I also sometimes when a new meeting comes up in PIR, I just go and listen out of curiosity you were talking about. Instead of saying, oh no, that's not for me, I'm not this, I'm not that, contempt prior to investigation. And maybe, maybe I'm not, but at least I've listened to it. And that open-mindedness really for me comes from psilocybin more than just recovery. Uh, because in traditional recovery programs, I've seen people who are quite close-minded actually. And that's why psychedelics is such a tricky topic. Is whenever you you try, especially in in substance abuse uh 12-step program, whenever you try and explain, people shut me sh have shut me down. You're not you're not you're not clean. Yes. Do you still go to your uh NA uh to NA meetings?

SPEAKER_00 32:24

I yes. Uh I I dip in and out of there. I I'd had a really bad migraine one day last week, and I thought, you know what, I'd like to go to this meeting. It's a nice meeting and good recovery, and you know my migraine lifted, and it was really just nice seeing everybody who all identified with with the the perfectionism and and all that stuff. So what I've learned today is what Ruth likes, what does Ruth need? Because I didn't have the I was so disconnected, I didn't have the ability to understand what I liked or needed. So today I do what I need to do and what I like doing. And that's you know, I'll do AA, I'll dip in and out ANA, and I go to PM, or and that and that works for me, and that's what I enjoy and that's what's good for me. Yeah, fantastic.

SPEAKER_02 33:11

And um you and Vita started a uh face-to-face meeting in Edinburgh. Yes, and it seems to be going really well.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

Yes, it's a lovely space, and it's been lovely seeing new people coming into PIR, and it's just been nice going and and you know, doing service, and it's my medicine now. You know, I go there and uh chair the meeting and I leave feeling my cup is full. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:40

Do you want to uh tell us when it is, where it is?

SPEAKER_00 33:45

So we have a live PIR meeting in Edinburgh at the Salisbury Centre, and that's on a Friday evening at 6:30. And because we've had more people come in, we're going to maybe say about opening another meeting. We're going to have another business meeting at the end of the month to further discuss that. But that is the intention of maybe opening another one, which would be lovely.

SPEAKER_02 34:11

Wow. Yes. There is a vibe in Scotland around the psychedelic for recovery, psychedelic for mental health, um, an appetite for it to happen in and uh in a different way than in England. Um and there was that event in uh in Edinburgh uh in February uh where we were invited to talk uh in at the parliament. Um and I picked up that vibe there, that really it's buzzing, and when I see how well the uh Edinburgh and Glasgow meeting are doing, um, compared to to the London meeting that's been going on for three years, it's uh it's really encouraging. Um so best of luck with that, and thank you for your for your service in in creating that that meeting in Edinburgh. Um is there anything that um I haven't asked you and that you wish you would have spoken about? Uh we've got some we've got some time left and we've gone through our all of our five questions because you've been uh remarkably eloquent in in the first part, and we went through all of it. I wonder if there's anything else you wanted to talk about, how psychedelics have impacted your recovery that we haven't spoken about.

SPEAKER_00 35:30

I found myself. Psychedelics helped me find myself, helped me become connected to myself, you know, have compassion for myself, so I I've then got more compassion for others. And the positive ripple effect that has, you know, personally and professionally is lovely. Yeah, and you were talking about your relationship with your daughters. I came home from the ceremony last Saturday and I spent time with my two daughters who I am so blessed to have. And they were both lovely girls, and and we sat and had a conversation, they they know about all of this, they've got a great understanding, and I think the positive ripple effect of what I've been doing really impacted them in a good way because we were able to sit and really talk. And my youngest daughter is quite deep, and quite like how the person I was, I come home from that ceremony, and we were able to have a much deeper conversation than we usually do, which was probably the best thing that happened the whole weekend, because I got a go beyond the surface, you know, and and some of it was difficult, and sometimes we need to have difficult conversations, but as long as it comes from a place of love and it's in a kind and caring way, that's all right. You know, so there's we're growing and we're healing and and we laugh, you know, have learned to laugh in recovery and like really laugh and how healing and how it's a release, and it's just you know, I'm so grateful for that.

SPEAKER_02 37:15

Yeah, it's beautiful, and you know, when you're talking about the repo repo effect on your daughters, that that's part of the uh ancestral healing. Not only do we heal our ancestors, but we contribute to healing our children and our lineage coming in front of us. Uh and that's that's beautiful, you know. And uh you know, I came into recovery late late in the life of my children. They're now 19 and 15. Um this they my daughter particularly remembers me you know drunk and high. Uh but but today we're mending this relationship and she knows that it's possible, and uh it's never too late uh to to to stop the generational curse. Um and to uh to pass on the gift of healing to our children. That's that's a beautiful thing. That's the most beautiful thing. Well, that's a beautiful uh final note um to end on. Uh thank you very much, Ruth, uh, for coming to share with us today. Um and uh see you around. Thank you, Anne. Academics in recovery is a peer led fellowship guided by anonymity, non endorsement, and mutual respect. Thank you for listening and for placing principles before personalities.